If you haven't heard...
Can you believe it? After this long Journey of waiting our first pea is on it's way. I would really like to take a few minutes and say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has been with us on this journey. After a season of barrenness God has said it is time for our first baby here on Earth.
The whole thing is quite surreal, and just now starting to sink in. For me personally, I have been pretty unemotional the entire pregnancy. I am excited, however, I think after two back to back miscarriages it is hard to attach emotionally to something that may not come to pass. Up until now that's all Robert and I have known. Although, I am confident that God will complete this good work in us!
There are so many things I've learned in our journey, that I can truly still say in my heart 'I wouldn't trade it"! There are two moments that stand in my mind. The first was in January. At our First Wednesday service at church Pastor Greg was challenging us to pray specific and persistent prayers. Obviously on my heart was our peas. I really had stopped praying for a baby, because I didn't want the disappointment of God saying "no". I fully trusted God with my family's future but I wasn't in a place to give fervent prayer to it. I felt the Lord say, "you haven't even asked me for your baby"... I think the jaw of my heart dropped because I knew He was right. Everything in me thought, Lord I just can't. Then I felt a challenge from Him..."ask me for your baby". In this moment of prayer I felt the Lord reveal to me that this baby would be an example of God answering the combined prayers of the church. How often do I make my need known with a humble heart? When the body comes together and asks God for something won't He answer? I felt the Lord saying this would be one of those times when He would answer a prayer because His people came together for a cause and asked. This was profound for me, but I didn't really know what to do with the promise I felt I'd received. So I just prayed.
Fast forward to the second moment, the beginning of April. Some sweet ladies at our church decided to come together and fast for "April in April", honestly when I heard I probably had a sarcastic laugh in my mind and I told my friend...."we already fasted and I didn't get pregnant". I didn't think it was a waste, but I just thought there was so much expectation and pressure to it. However, I didn't want to be ungrateful for the prayers or interfere with what God was doing so I said go ahead, however I stayed out of the whole thing. I trusted God, I was just weary of waiting and praying. It's almost like I needed a closer for the 9th inning of the game. I see that now...and I am reminded, that is what God's family is for, to help each other in the season of weakness and trial. There wasn't anything that anyone could "do" to bring the peas, except for pray. I think that makes it a sweeter story because now our God gets all the glory for the miracle.
So....as you can guess, we did get pregnant! Actually in the end of March, and I truly believe it was the prayers of these sisters along with the prayers of so many of you who have been praying since last spring that got us through the season. I know this is an answer to the promise God showed me in January. The power of God's people coming together in prayer for a purpose. Now we are all rejoicing in this sweet baby to come, but for me even more, I'm reminded of the power of our prayers. The question I am asking myself is, why do we not more often make our needs known to our church family? Why don't we ask others to come together in prayer seeking the Lord for our answer? Do we not believe the scripture that says?:
I'm not saying that everyone who asks God for a baby will conceive, but it was in the prayers that God made my heart right with him. One of the sweetest parts of this journey was surrendering my heart to him in the area of adoption, if that is God's story for us, he knows that now I welcome it...four months ago that was the last thing I would have said yes to. God is able to do things greater than we can ask or imagine, for me one of those was changing my heart on adoption and truly surrendering my family plans to him.
As a church body, I think we can improve our practice of banding together in prayer for specific causes. Surely the prayers of 30 are more powerful than the prayers of one. It's like if you have 5 kids and one is asking you for a trampoline...you're not sure because they are pricey and can be dangerous, but what if all 5 of your kids are constantly asking you for this trampoline begging, Mom, Dad please??? we love you so much, you're the best parents we'll be safe we promise...and so on. Surely the heart of the parent will be swayed by the combined asking of all of her children. Just as I believe our Father can have a swayed heart when all of His children come together and ask for something in His sweet name.
I want to ask you all to come together in prayer again for some friends of ours who are on a similar journey of waiting for their family as we have been. You can just call them, "the Knight's friends", God knows who we're praying for. My prayer is that, As the Lord has done for us He would do for them. I will be sure to keep y'all updated on their journey when the Lord answers our prayer for them. Let's come together and ask God for a healthy baby for them in Jesus name.
Thank you all again for your "Pea Prayers". Words cannot express the gratitude and love in our hearts for all of you who have prayed so hard for us. Surely, our sweet babe will be a world changer for the Kingdom of God.