Wednesday, May 9, 2012

In Ma' Studio


So I have been blessed with this sweet new studio space at #1445bexley which I have some mixed emotions about. On the one hand I am very excited to have my own space, uninterrupted where I can work. I have dreamed about having a space like this for years, a studio where I can be creative and not have to clean up after myself mid-project so that we can eat dinner at the table where I am working. I would say that this is a dream that most artists have...so why I am not jazzed to move in and get organized and start with the masterpiece making.

This question I cannot answer in full. I can answer one part of the question...the part about organization, I'm actually not a great organizer if you hadn't guessed, that is why God gave me Robert. He has done the only organizing in this space so far. And he's always saying..."I need to get your studio organized", what a blessing he is!! Another thing I can't quite get a handle on is...why can't I get some creative inspiration on how I want my space to look design wise? I LOVE design and decorating, I mean my house is cute y'all...why can't I tackle this little space!? All I keep thinking about is which way I want my work table to face, and in case you are wondering, I haven't even decided yet.
this is my...I'm scared to work in here face.

So here I sit at this crossroad, just wasting this great space sort wondering why i can't get it together....I will say that as I type this I am sitting in this studio space listening to my Ingrid Michaelson Pandora mix. I am forcing myself in here....So why this pickle?

If I evaluate myself as an artist, I really do care about "where" I'm creating more than "what" I'm creating. For example, I don't actually like coffee that much but I always want a full cup and saucer at my work table for the effect, am I crazy?  If you've ever been over here when I'm working it's always a big mess at the dining room table. It feels right...and that's where I've done almost all my work since we've been here at #1445bexley. So that's where I always want to be working. I think that is one piece of the puzzle. The other part may be this weight that I feel when I hear the word "studio". When I hear studio I automatically think of a great space with lots of beautiful work in it. Artists come to mind who are accomplished and have earned this space in which to create. Maybe in my mind I don't think I have earned this space, or that now I have to be this accomplished well known artist. Should my work improve since my space has improved? Shouldn't I have a professionally done website and a polished blog post three times a week? Not to mention lots of sales and new listings on Etsy?

Sigh......I'm exhausted already. Y'all I don't have an answer for myself? But have you ever felt this way as an artist? Honestly If I were you reading this I would probably think, "Well, I'M sorry that you have this great space full of supplies and you can't get your stuff together...I would love to have my own studio space or just space to store all my supplies, stop whining"!  I know I need to get my stuff together, let's get with it April. So I will pray on it, and try to be more productive on the studio piece. Just being real and sharing the frustrations of the craft. Jesus take the wheel!

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