Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Creative Process: Our Journey

I recently completed a series called "Our Journey" that I showed in the Affinities art show a few weeks ago at our church. I'd like to share a little of the process of creating this series. If you didn't have a chance to see my series then that's the first order of business. Here is a link to view it.

So now you know our story...it has been a crazy journey to say the least. And I must first say that this series came straight from the Lord almost with a bow on it. In the middle of the night one evening shortly after we found out we would miscarry, I was lying in bed tired from crying all day and just frustrated with the Lord because he wouldn't let me go to sleep. Shortly after I woke up with these seven pieces in my mind. The titles were there and even a vague visual of what each piece would look like. I can say that the theme of the series of the peas was rooted out of something that came from our first loss. When you lose a baby dealing with it is tough, in part I think because by cultural standards it wasn't a life that ever came to be, so it's hard to mourn and share the loss with people who never knew of it. I never really recognized the life of our first loss and then one day I read my friend's blog who had just lost a baby. I was intrigued that she wanted to recognize the life. So I wanted to do the same with ours. I thought, maybe I will paint a picture for our precious one. Here is a picture of the first sketch of that piece. 
From this original sketch I think the Lord crafted the series. God is so good. It's almost as if the original sketch he gave me foreshadowed what was to come. It's not often that the I receive so clearly a piece of work from the Father, I'm certain not due to His lack of speaking but to my inability to listen. I always feel like God and his character are the inspiration for my work, but sometimes.....sometimes, God speaks and I am the recipient of his word. This was one of those times, thank you God. 
Once I received the pieces I then did a rough sketch of each piece as I normally would and began a few weeks later putting them on canvas. When you see the pieces you'll notice the texture and mixed media involved. I used a modeling compound to add the texture, which I put on first before any paint. The torn paper came in after I thought the first piece was done....it just looked kind of boring to me so I made a rash decision to add the paper and it worked. I often make decisions like that in my artwork, which reflects my personality...I'm a go with the flow kind of gal. I think this is my favorite series so far, but Robert says I always say that when I finish something new.

My favorite piece in the series is probably "The ones we've longed for". When i was writing our word to each of our peas I found myself falling in love with these children I've never met. I asked Robert, "Sweetie, how will we know who is who when we meet them?". He wisely said, "We'll know", like a grandpa full of experience and wisdom. It was somewhat nerving to write it all out, knowing that I could face the ridicule of some who think it's over the top or the actual possibility that we might not have four. But I'm not afraid, go big or go home right? I'm thankful I did it and thankful the Lord loves me for dreaming.

One thing I came away with from this series is that our trial has become a beautiful story only the Lord could write.  Although it has been a trying journey which is not over, it has shaped my life and our marriage in ways we could have never "made" happen. Thank you God for choosing us for this trial, may we come out giving you glory and staying faithful to you.


  1. This is absolutely beautiful!! Thank you for sharing this journey. I know God will use it to bring hope and healing to others who have a similar journey. Blessings!

  2. Dear April, This is very beautiful and very brave. Your pain must be great, but even so, in your words I hear your beautiful mother's heart.
    I am praying Psalm 37:4 for you.
    Love, Jill